People just watch, they always watch

I think so much about trying to say the right thing, but I often end up saying nothing at all

It's weird, because I'm not even listening to my own sayings. I always tell myself "I don't wanna say nothing wrong, but it'd be wrong if I ain't say nothing" (word to ye).

But recently I haven't been saying anything, period. I've kept to myself a lot recently, very very reclusive. And there's nothing wrong with that I'd much rather be by myself than with other people.

Maybe I need to listen to myself more. Or maybe I need to change myself more. Not that there's a correlation between the two. But that's where I'm at right now.

People watch. People just watch and that's it. It's so fucking annoying. And that's why I hate social media. Like people just see what I'm doing and say nothing. Especially it's people that I don't even think about much. Y'all could be doing so many better things, but you're taking time out of your life to peep what I'm doing. ???

I'm not bothered by it, because I've gotten used to it. People will always continue to watch me, I don't know why but it's always been like that.

I don't wanna say I'd rather have no one looking than too many people looking. With that logic, I'd rather have no friends than any friends, and that's not true. I need people. People don't energize me like extroverts, but I need important people in my life that I know I can rely on. And I'm fortunate to have that.

Although I can easily ghost the world and have no one watch me, I know people need me. It's very weird, people that I don't even know like that need me. I'm not complaining. Because everyone's somebody's somebody. And if I can be that somebody for somebody, then I'm truly grateful, and it means a lot.

A lot of the people who just watch will be watching this because of my own decision, as I choose to post this. Don't let the watchers influence your decisions. Make moves how you want to. And if you feel that you want to show some aspect of yourself to the world, then by all means do so. You're not obligated to impress anyone. Because even if you do try to flex on social media, chances are people won't care. They'll probably watch. They always watch.

Give your time and energy to people who CARE. If you have someone who legitimately gives a fuck about you, give them 100%, because it's a very rare thing to happen in your life. I just got really lucky to have 3-5 real ones around me. Shootout BRNSQD. I know everyone's not gonna be as lucky as me. But don't lose patience or faith, because there's no such thing as luck. Everything that's meant to happen will happen with time.