I always tell Roland things that he never understands. He's the exception in his grade though, I know he'll get it.

If you're reading this

Let someone who needs to know that they are loved that they are loved

Haha

So God please don't judge me

-

Jacki was my best friend throughout all of middle school, k-8. Easily the most important friendship I'll have in my life. Richmond, Roland, 9 and Adrian are up there too, but Jacki's definitely at the top, no question .One day I'll confess my gratitude to her

Here's a gem from the Izeezus Archive. During the whole #FreeIzeezus situation, I sent out this response.

NOTE: This was written before Dr. Ness had denied my reconsideration request after I had shown him the petition. Mindsets may have changed since then.





#FreeIzeezus: My thoughts on the whole situation


Isaiah Chauhan





DISCLAIMER: I know that I might get in trouble for this, but if it’s for the purpose of expressing and explaining myself, so be it.





I went to Dr. Ness’ office this morning about the whole situation. He simply told me the reason I was disqualified was because “I didn’t prepare with an actual speech. Because I didn’t prepare, and instead came with a political campaign,” he disqualified me. According to Dr. Ness, I was disqualified because I didn’t bring what was requested and required.





I actually didn’t officially find out I won the popular vote until the day I officially got disqualified. The day voting ended, Ms. Odell called me into her office saying that there’s a possibility that I might get disqualified for my speech, and that there will most likely be a revote. She never directly said that I won the popular vote. The winner was originally going to be announced at the end of that day, but because of the controversy regarding my speech, the decision making process was hindered.





When Ms. Odell told me that, I really just assumed that I won. If I didn’t first place, why was I even having that conversation with her? I believed at that point that I had won the popular vote, because Ms. Odell wouldn’t be telling me that I might get disqualified if I didn’t get first place. Keep in mind this conversation happened after voting was over. Like, why would you tell a second place winner that they’ve been disqualified? Even if they did qualify, they wouldn’t have won in the first place, so why waste your time with them? For the use of example, let’s say that there’s a person named X, who’s also in contention for the speech. X won the speech, and I was last place. Ms. Odell wouldn’t personally tell me that I might be disqualified, and then go on to announce that X won the graduation speech. It just doesn’t make sense.





The next morning, Dr. Ness called me into his office, and he told me that I had won the popular vote, moments before he officially disqualified me.





To be honest, although I wasn’t surprised that I won the popular vote (considering I believed that I delivered the most engaging speech out of the four), I was grateful to think that people voted for me. Like, they want me to represent the entire class of 2017!!!





Out of the 4 contenders that gave speeches, I believed that my speech had energized and excited the class; I felt that I connected with the class of 2017 more than any other candidate. I felt that my speech was the most universal; I had written my speech in a way that everyone can understand and relate to it. I admit, Jackie, Asma and Claire’s speeches were phenomenal, I don’t doubt them for a second. But their speeches contained elements that everyone couldn’t relate to. Asma and Claire talked about Indian culture and Theatre respectively, and as an INDIAN, as well as an ACTOR (I’m in many Niles West Theatre productions, you should come watch me in Rent: School Edition, April 27-29!), I could understand that not everyone knows about Indian culture, or know about theatre. I completely understand and respect that, and talking about a subject that only a selective group of people can relate to is what I tried to avoid. The funny thing is that some people don’t even consider my speech to even be a speech. I had worked on that writing with passion, heart and energy, despite what everyone tells you. There was nothing in that speech that I wrote that I didn’t mean. As a creative who goes to express himself as far as possible despite the consequences, I feel that it is my responsibility to turn up and tell y’all the truth. If no one’s willing to break the rules, if no one’s willing to question society’s standards and norms, how will we ever advance as a society?





We only have 100 years on this Earth. Our lifetimes are a fraction on the universe’s timeline, a fraction! How can one person make a difference? We are so small in this world, right? How will anyone be remembered?





I feel that with the creative platform known as the commencement speech, I can make people feel happy, I can make people feel special, I can make people feel important. The way society is set up today, you will be questioned if you dare to do something different. 95% of those people give into society, and fall into the trap of conformity (unfortunately, due to mob mentality and other various issues). The 5% that don’t stop, however, they go on to bring change, they go on to make impact, they go on to be remembered. Why? Because they weren’t afraid to be themselves, despite the risks and challenges that attacked them.





Look at people that have changed the scope of music today. Kanye West is undoubtedly responsible for some of the music game’s biggest changes. Being a visionary, you will get hated on, and most of the time people won’t even take you seriously. But when it’s all said and done, when the vision is seen and the product is created, they’ll say, “Wow, he really did that.”





I am an individual. I care about people. I care about being important. I care about being. I care about this speech. I may not have expressed that care on Monday when I delivered my speech, and I admit it was a poor mistake for me to not truly express what I needed to say on that stage that day. I admit it, I messed up. However, I don’t think that because I messed up, I should stop trying, right? I never took the speech as a joke. Dr. Ness told me, when I got officially disqualified (prior to the petition and movement and everything), that this is an important life lesson, as well as an important experience for the rest of my life. He was absolutely right. In life, you may seem like you’re in the winning, and just like that, with a quick, stupid, thoughtless decision, you can screw it all up and lose. What I also learned is that even after losing and realizing you messed up, there is no reason for you to not get back up and defend yourself once again. Especially if it’s for the sole reasons of expressing yourself and making a difference, there is definitely no reason for you not to, right? So I’d like to thank Dr. Ness for disqualifying me. If I had never been disqualified, I wouldn’t have the utmost confidence to get back up and try. If it weren’t for you, this #FreeIzeezus movement would have never started.





I’m not trying to be Kanye West and change the world or anything. I believe that I can make my speech memorable as well as culturally significant in 2017. And the seniors believe/trust in me, I won the popular vote!








When I was told I was disqualified, it was a combination of heartbreak and confusion. Coming into high school as a freshman, I remember Niles West boasting about its diversity and individuality, and I thought, “Wow, the outspoken vibes this place gives is awesome! I have no fear at all, I’mma be myself and no one will judge me!” That was ME as a freshman. 3 years later, and I’m still like that, I express myself in the highest way possible, I show my individuality because I’m proud of who I am. And in my experience, no student or classmate has questioned or dismissed the differences and individuality I bring to table, they support me! My Niles West Class of 2017 supports me and the visionary ideas I bring to the table, and hope to spread to the world! Them understanding that the first step is the Commencement Speech, they voted for me! They voted me as the popular vote over 3 girls with prepared, spectacular speeches.





The people that don’t believe in me/support me, the only argument they have is that the other 3 girls actually arrived with their speeches, and that I arrived with what they call “a winged rant”. ( - an Izeezus hater )





Now, imagine putting in hours of work into a writing, a work that you put so much passion, energy, and individuality into it. Imagine that people don’t even take it seriously at all. In fact, they dismiss it as if it shouldn’t even be considered a contender. It’s a weird feeling, right? Like, you put your soul and spirit into something, you invest yourself into a work that you believe can captivate others and be different, and just like that, it gets squished. That’s where I am right now. Of course, I’m not some special godsend hero who believes he deserves every compensation he asks for, I am an equal human being just like everybody else. I just think it’s dry that the committee didn’t even take me seriously, solely because my speech didn’t follow the mold of what a speech should be. I wanted to change the face of what a commencement speech giver should be like. (Cue another Izeezus hater here saying that I didn’t even have a speech in the first place, which is why I don’t deserve to be back in the running for the speech. It’s crazy how even after you reflect and explain yourself to others, there are still haters that are ignorant enough who completely disregard the valid points you make just to go against you. The difference between me and them is that I actually admit when I’m in the wrong, and I’m right here saying that I was in the wrong for delivering a speech on Monday that truly didn’t reflect my ideals, nor did I express myself to the most Izeezus-esque extent).





Let’s go back to when I said,





The people that don’t believe in me/support me, the only argument they have is that the other 3 girls actually arrived with their speeches, and that I arrived with what they call “a winged rant”. ( - an Izeezus hater )





Now, think about this. There were 3 girls that came with fully prepared, ready-to-go speeches. My speech, wasn’t even in full prime mode, my speech didn’t represent Isaiah Chauhan at all. In fact, people to this day don’t even consider it a speech! Even then, even with me not having a complete speech compared to the 3 other girls, I still won the majority. I still won the popular vote! You see, we are in a situation where I didn’t even release/recite my best work, and yet the seniors still voted for me to be the Commencement Speaker. This goes to show how much trust they have in me! If any other person gave the exact same speech I gave, they wouldn’t have won at all! People believe in me! People want me to represent them! I ooze individuality, and the people want individuality, they want something different! This is 2017 people, this is the time to be different!





The fact of the matter is, many people are too afraid to go out and take crazy risks like this, with the possibility of getting in huge trouble. I feel that it is my responsibility to be the one willing to take hits, to make risky moves, for the sake of the art. For the sake of expression. For the sake of the voice. People wanted me to win, and I feel like my disqualification was a huge form of disrespect to everyone who supported and believed in me.











A message to a few people:





I feel like I’ve already said this before, but since there are passionate haters against me, I’ll say it again.





I ADMIT THAT MY SPEECH DIDN’T REFLECT WHAT I EXPRESS, NOR HOW I TRULY FEEL ABOUT THE COMMENCEMENT SPEECH; I DEFINITELY COULD HAVE APPROACHED IT IN A MORE MATURE MANNER. NOR WAS MY SPEECH WRITTEN AS WELL COMPARED TO THE OTHER 3 GIRLS. THE 3 OTHER GIRLS HAD OUTWRITTEN ME (in some senses), I ADMIT THAT.





The only argument people have against me is that they don’t consider my speech to even be a speech. Well, I actually wrote it myself, I speaked with heart and energy, and I engaged/energized the audience with what I had to say. If you don’t call it speech, call it what you want, but whatever you do call it, you cannot deny the fact that the majority of the 2017 seniors voted for me, because they believed my “speech” was truly reminiscent of what represents them as an entire class: individuality. The majority of seniors voted for me, because I was different, I changed the game.





To the committee that disqualified me: I’m sorry. I understand that I disappointed all of you, I admit that it was a immature, weak move of me to approach the final round with the speech I presented. But do you guys see? What you guys consider to be a political campaign as to why I should win, the seniors still voted for that, despite me not giving a speech similar to those of Jackie, Asma, or Claire! You guys know what I’m capable of, you trusted me to deliver a stellar speech on Monday. I disrespected and embarrassed you guys, completely trashing the trust you gave me, a trust that you gave with promise and hope. I’m sorry. I admit that that speech isn’t even as close to what I can do, what I can create, what I can be. But again, you guys know that, considering you advanced me into the final four. I now understand the stakes of this brand-new situation that has arised, and if you guys can once again provide me the infrastructure needed to inspire, innovate, and create, I promise to use the creative platform given to make one of the greatest commencement speeches Niles West has ever hosted/witnessed.





To the Class of 17: Thank you guys. I never imagined the #FreeIzeezus movement to make this many moves. Like, we got a petition with 100+ followers overnight! I love you guys, and this truly means alot. If I get the speech, it’ll be lit, as we all know. If I don’t end up getting the speech, I ask to give the new speech giver all the attention, love, and respect that you’re giving me. As much support I’m getting, it’s no question that I was somewhat in the wrong in the whole situation. But hey, that’s a part of making change, being willing to break the rules! I love that y’all stand for that. I love that our class, our generation, is graduating with the mindset that there’s nothing that shouldn’t be questioned. Even with this commencement speech, for example. I questioned how a commencement speech should be dropped, y’all invested into my ideas, and y’all supported it. That’s crazy man. I never thought I’d get this far; I definitely couldn’t have gotten this far without y’all, but we already know that. Actually, I take that far. I didn’t get this far. WE got this far. TOGETHER. UNITED. WE ARE THE YOUTH, WE ARE THE FUTURE, WE ARE THE CREATIVES, WE ARE EXPRESSION, WE ARE INDIVIDUALITY, WE ARE WOLVES. Shoutout to the Class of 2017, we’re all real ones.





To anyone else reading: There are going to be times where your identity, respect, and integrity will be on the line for the sake of bringing change, making change. The question is, are you willing to put everything on the line to make a difference? Never tell yourself that you are alone when you are put in challenges such as that. I got disqualified from the Commencement Speech, but look how far I’ve gotten, because of my classmates. I’ve made myself into somewhat of a controversial icon. People care about this. People care about ME. Anything is possible. If you have the vision, the passion, and the belief that you can be great, there is nothing stopping you. And even when you are suppressed and feel that you have no reason to continue trying, at your lowest moment will you find another reason to keep going. Use that, as inspiration, as motivation, and as a passionate drive, to express yourself no matter what it takes, because if you’re yourself and are proud of that, the sky’s the limit. Don’t adjust your individuality to society, allow society to adjust to your individuality.





Final word





Everybody wants change, but everyone’s also afraid to take the first step to bring change. It’s not something to judge, fear is a natural trait that all human beings have. I admit, I’ve had fear at times during this entire process. But I always remind myself that what I’m doing is what I should be doing, because there is a creative platform waiting for me that has been taken away from me, and the majority of the 2017 class believes that I should have that platform. Michael Jackson said in “Leave Me Alone”, “There’s a time when you’re right, and you know you must fight”.





I have ideas that I want to share. I understand that I didn’t share them on Monday, but when there is a majority of seniors swarming about my disqualification, you have to ask yourself, “Does Isaiah really deserve to be disqualified? Does he deserve a chance? Does he actually have something quality worth sharing?”





People are controlled by the thoughts and perceptions of themselves. If people are taught that they can’t do anything, then they won’t do anything. -Kanye West





I was taught that I can do anything, because Niles West is a haven for creativity, where the visionaries of tomorrow can express themselves to the highest degree. Niles West is a place where diversity is praised, all races, genders, and all individuals are given the infrastructure and platform needed to create their vision, which is a rarity at many schools.





I believe that I can deliver a legendary commencement speech, and apparently so does the majority of the 2017 class. But because the committee did not appreciate the way I approached my speech (which I completely respect and understand), they have blocked me from excelling. That’s not what the people want. Whether I delivered “the promise of a speech” or not, the people want Isaiah Chauhan, the people want Izeezus, to deliver their 2017 Commencement Speech, because they believe that I am the best representation for our graduating class. This is what the people wanted.





I refuse to follow these rules that society has set up and the way that they control people with low self-esteem. This is about loving yourself, being yourself, and believing in yourself. it’s about the truth that you are beautiful and amazing, and anything you put your mind to can be completed with perseverance, determination, and passion.





I have no desire to be like anybody else. I have no desire to have a regular speech, and I have no desire to be normal. It’s my job to ensure that 2017 goes down as one of the most important, influential, and polarizing classes of all-time.





I am a creator. Causing havoc for the sake of expression is what I guess I have to do to get my thoughts out.





If you’ve read this far, it means that you care, and I appreciate that. Thank you, I hope you do something today that your tomorrow self will thank you for. Everything happens for a reason.





There’s a possibility that I’m going to get in trouble for saying all of this, but I truly spoke my mind. If I get in trouble for that, I’m alright with that. I said what I wanted to. I still believe that I should be given another chance (despite everyone saying I got too many chances, and that I don’t deserve another one).





I know that there are people that have personally gone to the committee to ensure that I get disqualified. I hope you’re happy, because your chances of winning have increased, but everyone knows the truth. The truth is that I won 1st place, and if you go about your way bragging to people that you’re going to get me disqualified, I believe that karma is going to get back at you. The people want who they want, not someone who will travesty their way to ensure that they win. No shade though.





“If I don’t break the rules, who will?” -Isaiah Chauhan





I hope this helped you get a glimpse of my perspective, and where I’m at currently.


In Kanye-esque fashion,


If you’re a fan of Izeezus, you’re a fan of yourself.





Instagram: @izeezus


18 LP Coming soon





https://www.change.org/p/2017-niles-west-seniors-get-izeezus-back-on-for-the-commencement-speech?recruiter=545469584&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg





My petition





If you would like to see a list of the people speaking as to why they support me:





You can see all the comments here.

Whenever I'm depressed, I listen to flight of the Navigator. That song's saved me from ending it all several times .

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I have to quit everything and everything, and I will try my best to do so.